NOVEMBER 9, 2006
TUESDAY WAS GOOD NEWS FOR .... WHO?
By Neal Boortz
I notice that the newspaper and broadcast pundits are telling us who the winners and losers are in Tuesday's startling elections. Well ... I might as well get in the game here with everyone else.
The envelope please.
And the winners in this year's midterm elections are:
(Accepting the award for the Islamic Fascists will be Osama bin Laden)
The focal point of the war against Islamic fascism was Iraq. The jihadists were sending their fighters to Iraq, there to be killed in gratifying numbers by American and coalition troops. What was once American resolve is now American weakness. The people have listened to the politicians -- one group that wanted to finish the job, another that didn't -- and gave the nod to the quitters. Today America is weaker in the eyes of those who would destroy us. Not a cause for celebration.
(Accepting the award will be Shirley Sternfaulter, a young mother of three who wants the government to pay for her child care.)
A huge percentage of the people who went to the polls on Tuesday went there to vote for a living. They feel that the purpose of government is to make sure that the basic necessities of their lives are paid for, while they spend their own money on the newest technology in flat-screen televisions, gadget-filled cell phones and subscriptions to People Magazine.
(Putting down his leaf blower to accept the award is Pedro Lopez-Garcia-Menendez-Gonzalez, who pays no taxes in the U.S., and sends 80% of each paycheck back to Vera Cruz to take care of his wife and children.)
Yesterday President Bush as much as said that amnesty would be the order of the day. Now that those pesky Republicans have been kicked out of the majority in the House of Representatives, the president and the Senate will have clear sailing on their plan for amnesty for the 20 million plus illegal aliens now residing in this country. Oh .. and the border? Nothing will be done to stop the Mexican invasion, so as soon as Pedro has his paperwork Maria and the kids will be on a bus.
Those who want a weaker America
(Accepting the award will be Dominique Marie François René Galouzeau de Villepin, sometimes known as Dominique de Villepin, the Prime Minister of France. Dominique was the leader of the Axis of Weasels before he became Prime Minister.)
A poll earlier this year said that something like 58% of Europeans wanted a weaker America. They got their wish on Tuesday. Who is going to be there to pull their candied asses out of the oven when they finally wake up and realize the great strides that have been made in the Islamification of Europe? Hello Eurabia.
The first blow to be struck in the weakening of America will be for the Democrats to get rid of John Bolton as the Ambassador to the United Nations. They'll replace him with someone who will not stand up to UN corruption and the forces who want to weaken us.
The Libertarian Party?
(I would be happy to accept this reward, but the don't like me all that much because I believe that we need to defend this country from both the Islamic fascists and the Mexican invasion.)
Tuesday's vote showed that a lot of conservatives and libertarians in this country are completely fed up with the Republican Party. If ever there was a time for the emergence of a third party that would adhere to conservative and libertarian values -- without an obsessive allegiance to religious fundamentalists -- now is the time. The Libertarian Party could be just that party. We'll see if they're up to the task.
The leftist media.
(Accepting the award for The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, The Boston Globe, Time Magazine, Newsweek Magazine and too many more to mention will be Dan Rather)
Ninety percent or more of these people vote Democrat. They engaged in a six-year campaign of demonization of George Bush. It worked.
(Accepting the Award will be the President of the D.C. Bar Association)
Get ready for two years of investigations, subpoenas, hearings...you name it. Everything will be investigated, then investigated again. But the Republicans did it to themselves...every last bit of it.
COMMON GROUND WITH BUSH
A headline today says that President Bush is going to meet with Nancy Pelosi in search of common ground. In search of common ground? That shouldn't be too hard at all. After all, they already have so much in common! Let's take a look at just a few of their issues they have in common.
- Illegal immigration. The new Democrat-controlled House and Senate can't wait to pass Bush's amnesty program. Every one of the 12 million illegal aliens in the United States along with 12 million more now in Mexico are getting ready to sign up. Putting the Democrats in charge was the best thing that ever happened to Bush's illegal immigration agenda.
- More government spending. Through the first 6 years of his presidency, President Bush has proved time and time again that the solution to all of society's ills is more government spending. In fact, he has spent so much money and expanded government so fast, his presidency is rivaled only by FDR's New Deal.
- Raising the minimum wage. No problem! Bush has said in the past that he has no problem signing an increase in the minimum wage. Here's my question though, why only raise it 1 or 2 dollars an hour? How about making the minimum wage $20 an hour? Surely that would be a living wage! Oh...it would kill too many jobs? Wait a minute...isn't that the argument for not raising it at all. Liberals are so confused.
Nancy Pelosi will have so much in common in President Bush, she just doesn't know it yet. The only thing she needs to work on is getting him to cut and run in Iraq.